my feet are tired and my legs are sore and scraped from the weeds. my body aches from the cold sharp air. My arms are numb, and i can feel my blood pulsing thicker in my head. I can feel the ungodly presence of metaphorical shit creeping up my spine. my heart bleeds and my eyes tear up from all the bruises and cuts.
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i dont understand how someone can be so hateful. is it selfesh of me to be happy. i should think not, but maybe im wrong. maybe i do stomp on peoples hearts, and i use them for my own stuck up good, and i lie to get the things i want, and im such a horrible person.
for as long as i can remember this delima has been arising quite a bit, but never, has any of it gone my way.
was it wrong to make the assumption that i was making an adequate choice. was it wrong to feel that i was handling things well. more stably than a typical child.
i cant fathom that anyone could be so incredibly cold hearted and so incredibly selfish. i understand feeling angry. but to disown someone your better half loves just because they do something you dont like is slightly on the ridiculous side. obviously theres a lot of "i dont understands" in the journey ive come to endure. but i honestly dont understand any of it.
if your kids want to be happy, and they know where to go, and they know what to do to make that happen. then why the hell would you try to prevent such a thing from happening.

ill just keep trudging through the blood, and tears, and heartache, and misery, and pain